Is it relevant to tell your partner about your ugly past?

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We all have a past. Whether good or ugly its still our past. Some people’s past are so terrible they just want to forget about it, they try not to talk about it and when they flashback, they are not always happy with themselves… Some school of thought believes its better to “tell it all” to your partner especially if the relationship is serious. They say its better to tell them so that in future it won’t be used against you. Another school of thought believes its your past and should remain there, no need telling… Hello LHers!!! Hope we are good? Shout out to all my LHers and TTT familie in the building, got mad love for you guys mehn. Remember my first post on STREET OPINION? If you missed it please check it here. You know how we do it on STREET OPINION, I go to the street and I ask people what they think about a topic… So for today’s post, I went to the street as usual to ask people what they think about “telling their partner about their ugly past” and below are their response.
Abbey: I would appreciate if my partner tells me about her past. I will also tell her about mine. What will be will be.
IB: Partners should always talk about their past so that when they decide to settle down, an ex will not have an opportunity of blackmailing them because the partner already knows.
Kris: Your past can hunt your present relationship. Most times, its better you let your partner know who you truly are. You don’t have to give full details because sometimes giving full details can drive your partner especially when its very ugly.
JJ: Its good to discuss your past with your spouse so that you won’t have any skeleton in your cupboard.
Anna: Its not compulsory, some people don’t care about your past
Olaitan: One of the qualities of a good relationship is trust. When you tell your partner about your past, you have peace of mind knowing-fully well  that he or she knows about your past and he accepts you for who you are.
Victor: Who gives a damn about your past?
Zee: If the person is interested that is, they ask you about your past, let them know but if they don’t, no need to tell them.
Jay: It depends. Your past should only be revealed on a need to know basis. if your past is not affecting your future together in anyway, then he/she doesn’t need to know but if on the other hand your past have a great tangential pull on your future e.g you once contracted an  STD and didn’t treat it hence you became sterile or you have a love child outside who will one day show up at your doorstep etc. then your partner deserves to know what they are walking/gotten themselves into.  
Ayo: It depends o. Some things can create turmoil in a relationship. Full disclosure if you are innocent is good but if you’re not, that could end the whole thing. You can imagine if you have done 10 abortions before, will you be willing to tell your partner?
AB:  Personally, the relationship in question must have grown. Most importantly, if its something you known will hunt you in future, tell him but if not, keep it to yourself. The relationship must be seen to be heading somewhere before all the plenty convo.
Janet: If you’re sure you guys are getting married then let him know everything about your past. It won’t be nice if after settling down he hears it from someone else. Things like that can break marriages. No matter how bad it is, just let him know. If he truly loves you, he wouldn’t mind because he will understand that no one is a saint.
Tsaint: I think its relevant to tell your partner about your past because you can’t hide some things forever because one day it would just stick out its ugly head and bite you lol. So if you know you are going longterm with someone you are with, then its safer to let your past open with each other to avoid disappointment in the future because he/she might find out from someone in the future and it might be late to correct the impression then.
I watch movies a lot and if there’s anything I have learned from watching movies is “telling the truth.” I see people GIVE IN to blackmail because of an ugly past they don’t want their partner to know about. This is something that could have been avoided if they had told them about their past. I am down with the school of thought which says “tell it all” because just like pregnancy, it will definitely show one day. BTW, never give in to blackmail because what you don’t want in the open will definitely come out one day so its better you tell it all before it catches up with you.
You’ve read it all, what’s your opinion?
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32 thoughts on “Is it relevant to tell your partner about your ugly past?

  1. sweetdee says:

    It depends on how old d relationship is,and one has to knw how mature d partner is,cause not everyone can handle some things,so after gaugeing ur patner’s tolerance level,then u will know what and what not to say

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  2. Lily dear, it is important to tell your partner things about your past eg if you were previously engaged, or married or have kids (I know a woman whose marriage broke down when her husband discovered that she was married before and had two kids) or if an abortion is in the picture (for females). But I don’t think anyone should go into specifics like body count, number of bf/gfs etc.

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    • I would leave a partner if i found out he hid some stuffs from me. If he tells me before we get married and i’m okay with his past, fine. He shouldn’t expect me to pat his back when i find out the truth later in life.

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  3. IVORY 01 says:

    Fact of the matter is some things are better left unsaid..leboo will know about my past but it has to be contained.meaning that,i tell him only what he should know.my exes et al if any.in all,my take is that your partner should have a knowledge about your past.it helps to build trust.if you are not asked,dont tell unless it is something of immense importance which could affect your present.

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    • Hello Dee, thanks for stopping by. I think there should be a limit as to what is revealed when asked how many guys you have slept with. The most important thing is that he knows you’re not a virgin and at some point in your relationship life, you had sex with the guy you were with.

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  4. annie says:

    Hmmm,dis is a very interestting post and it requires wisdom…Telling ur Partner ur past is nt a bad idea,it depends on ur relationship level and d person u are in a relationship with. Before telling him/her be sure he will eventually marry u at d end,and he or she will nt use it against u when trouble arise in d marriage cos some partners after telling dem ur past might nt want 2 marry u,and at d end dey might end up blackmailing u with ur past dat u told dem. So,telling ur Partner ur past requires wisdom and guidance!

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  5. It may not be necessary to share one’s body count but issues like I was a cultist, I have a child, I’ve been with your brother should be shared initially or later on depending on how serious it is

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  6. Ooosssshheeey Turn uP! Baby mi.. Its simple in my confused 23 years 4 months and 9 days old head oh.. and it all boils down to what kinda relationship is it?! Is it a Marriage kinda relationship?! Or a Touching Borry “fill in the blank spaces” kinda relationship?! hehehehe Cause on the Long Run yeah.. People will take a bad news in a bad way.. But if you guys are heading somewhere ehn, then the other paRRy rather than Abscond might listen and know its the past.. But one thing I know for sure is “Never Tell it all all at once..” Release it gradually.. One at a time.. Dasall.. My candid confused opinion shaaa….

    Ossssssshhheeeey Turn uP!!! Lily toh smart! Blogger toh Wise.. Bubba toh Sure.. Your wisdom amazes me Baby mi! Aswear! 🙂

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  7. Some things are better left unsaid does not mean you should hide things. So anything you think would hurt u if your partner hid from you should come out. And as Duru said, moderation is the key, don’t deal everything at once, give them time to deal with one news at a time especially if your past is quite colourful
    Been a while I came here lemme go catch up on old posts

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    • Well written Esther, moderation is key. Take your time but make sure you tell your partner “that is if the relationship is a serious one” what he needs to know.

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